Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Listen up, Christian Grey...

...and all you women who are head over heels in love with this jerk. If they have to print up pamphlets describing the so-called man of your dreams and place them in public restrooms with telephone numbers and tips for escape on the back...THERE IS SOMETHING SERIOUSLY WRONG.

Friday, August 24, 2012

Sir Topham Hat Would Be Cross

I have some serious gripes with this Thomas & Friends "Right on Track!" bullshit magnetic board and drawing book published by those assholes over at Phidal Publishing, Inc.  Let's take a look:

Here is the product description:

Hey, that sounds like fun! 

And here is the sample from the back cover:

Look at those detailed drawing instructions.  Look at all of those intricate lines.  Look at all those different colors. There are four precise steps to follow.  There's even a facial expression on Thomas.  Now take a look at this close-up of the picture that some six year old Picasso apparently drew:

You're telling me, Phidal Publishing, Inc., that someone drew this ON A FUCKING MAGNETIC BOARD?  Those skinny little pencil lines? That perfect number "1"?  Those wheels and axles and that little pipe attached to Thomas's ass.  All of that shit was drawn using magnetic particles and A PEN THAT LOOKS LIKE THIS:

Jesus Christ, Phidal Publishing.  How do you think I feel when my two year old asks me to draw him that same picture of Thomas and it comes out LOOKING LIKE THIS:

NOT GOOD you false-advertising sons of bitches.  Not.  Good.  

Monday, August 20, 2012

Quote of the Day

"Been working a lot.  It's in a laundromat, it's totally corporate.  It's like rigid, all kinds of red tape, my boss is a dick, the owner, super dick, don't know if we're ever going to meet him, everybody's scared of the dude. Place is full of dead-eyed douchebags, the hours suck, and nobody knows what's going on."
 - Jesse Pinkman, Breaking Bad

I think he speaks for all of us.