Friday, April 30, 2010

Administrative AssistEnt

If Treebeard worked here he'd probably have to come in on Arbor Day.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010


I needed to pull 17 large size paperclips from my paperclip holder.  As I counted out #16 I pretended that if there wasn't one more in there I was going to be murdered. I enjoyed the suspense.

Arbor Day

I can't believe I have to work on Arbor Day.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

School Lunch

I just read an article about how some retired military officials are complaining that school lunches are making kids too fat to join the military.  If I remember correctly, school lunches were disgusting and the kids who bought them ended up just eating the tater tots.  I'm no nutritionist, but substituting lunch every day with 6 tater tots isn't going to make you fat.   And even if you did eat the whole lunch, what was it like a thin dried out hamburger patty?  Or a 1/4 of a cup worth of chicken fricasse? Or one slice of square pizza with 2 pepperonis on it?  If anything, school lunches leave you so hungry that when you get home you scarf down Hot Pockets and Pizza Rolls in front of the t.v., and whose fault is it that those things are in the house?  In conclusion, schools are not serving food that is unhealthy but delicious (e.g. McDonald's), they are instead serving unhealthy food that is gross and that nobody wants to eat, and that needs to be taken into account. 

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Happy Admin Day

Today was Administrative Professional Day. Nothing happened.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010


Yesterday I poured my leftover soup into the sink and some of the beans got caught in the drain. This prompted the posting of an angry sogn about how we don't have a garbage disposal so please don't ever do that again. I then scooped the rotting beans out of the sink with a plastic spoon. Luckily I've become quite good at this task ever since the fish food incident.

Monday, April 19, 2010


Today is Patriot's Day in Massachusetts, a holiday celebrating the battle at Lexington and Concord, and yet another holiday that I do not have off.  But according to Wikipedia, schoolchildren in Wisconsin have Patriot's Day off. Schoolchildren in Wisconsin. Wisconsin.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Spring has Sprung

The trees outside our office, whose flowers smell like the worst dog
crap you can imagine, have bloomed.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

The Great Divider Scam

I was at Staples today buying A-Z dividers for some binders.  They had some for $7.50 and they also had some cheaper ones for $4.50.  Of course I go for the $4.50's because odds are nobody is going to even crack open one of these binders that I'm making.  I could probably put in tabs that list the names of characters from Lord of the Rings and nobody would ever notice.  Anyway, that's when I realized that the tabs in the cheap pack include an "Mc" tab right after "M".  Who the heck has an "Mc" exhibit?  Nobody that's who.  So if you remove the "Mc" tab you would be left with a stupid looking gaping hole between M and N that your boss would most certainly yell at you for, and so you are forced to buy the more expensive ones.  That's about as big a coincidence as Dunkin Donuts putting shitty lids on the small coffees.