Wednesday, May 22, 2013

20 Things We're Doing In Our Cubicles

  1. Listening for footsteps. 
  2. Ordering tickets to that thing on that day that we’re going to call in sick.
  3. Staring blankly at Outlook while praying for Armageddon.
  4. Synchronizing our menstrual cycles. 
  5. Deleting our Google Toolbar search histories one letter at a time. 
  6. Researching World War II on Wikipedia, followed by the lyrics to Thrift Shop
  7. Accidentally sipping yesterday’s cup of coffee. 
  8. Making fun of the company website.
  9. Starting up a new colony of bacteria on our keyboards.
  10. Wondering if it’s too soon to go pee again. 
  11. Losing muscle mass.
  12. Realizing that all of the 6-digit project numbers we’ve memorized have replaced all of the phone numbers we used to know.
  13. Staring wistfully at our empty water cup.
  14. Shoving keys, wallet, and phone into waistband of skirt and sneaking out for coffee, leaving purse behind as decoy.  
  15. Re-writing the final episode of Family Ties.
  16. Looking up everybody we’ve ever known on LinkedIn because it’s the only social networking site that’s not blocked. 
  17. Finally getting around to Googling “proper way to slice an onion.” 
  18. Wondering what that smell is. 
  19. Deleting email from
  20. This.