Wednesday, July 2, 2014

How We're Celebrating Independence Day Week At The Office

*Complete financial dependence on corporation.

*Timesheets due July 3rd.

*Halfhearted "Happy Fourth!" to jerkoffs leaving office at 2:00 p.m. on July 2nd.

*Contemplating alternate world where United States never gained independence from England, and how fulfilling and cool our alternate British careers probably would have been.

*Increase in white paper, red and blue pen use.

*Delighting coworkers by performing Stars & Stripes Forever cymbal crashes at random moments throughout week.

*Hot dog eating contest alone in car, just like last Wednesday.

*Setting off Roman Candle.  Somewhere.  You'll see.


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