Fifth Disease? Anyone ever heard of this? I hadn't, so I consulted Wikipedia which said: The name derives from its historical classification as the fifth of the classical childhood skin rashes (preceded by Measles, Scarlet Fever, Rubella, and Duke's Disease). I can picture it now:
Scientist #1: Well fellas, we've got another case of that mysterious rash. I think it's time that we gave it a name.
Scientist #2: Where's Duke? He always comes up with the best names. Well, except for Duke's Disease, he kind of just mailed that one in.
Scientist #1: Shit, Duke's out sick today with Rubella. Now what?
Scientist #2: I dunno. How 'bout we call it Fifth Disease, since it's like the fifth one on the list.
Scientist #1: You have a brilliant mind!
According to Wikipedia, the disease is also referred to as slapped cheek syndrome, slapcheek, slap face or slapped face. There is a disease referred to as SLAP FACE? Now the idiotic disease name makes a bit more sense, because clearly the scientists were these guys:
Slap Face. As my son would say, "Real??" Yes, real. There is a chance we will have to take you to the doctor for a case of Slap Face. Then, I think, I will get questioned by someone from Child Protective Services. I can't wait for next week's notification about a confirmed case of Rotavirus - also referred to as Stinky Butt Syndrome, Poop Butt, Poopy Buttcheeks, and Stinkbum.
It's going to be a long winter.