Monday, August 22, 2011

Call Center Heroes

There are quite a few things I dislike about my office job: filing, cubicle neighbors who have megaphones strapped to their lips like a duck-billed platypus, and the feminine hygiene receptacle in the ladies room that is eternally left open. But nothing can quite compare to the joys of answering the telephone. Best case scenario, it’s a wrong number. Worst case scenario, it’s an 85 year old man who’s pissed off about the Walmart being constructed outside his bedroom window, has no clue who he needs to speak to, and wants to tell you his life story. Oh, and he clearly hates you.

It’s for these reasons that I can’t fathom the idea of working at a call center. These rugged souls brave the office each and every day, speaking to customer after customer, and they do it all with a “please” and a “thank you” and a “sir” and a “ma’am.” I must tell you, I admire these call center employees the same way I admire people who know how to do math. They were born with something that I wasn’t. Maybe it’s patience, or empathy, or just a general desire to speak to other humans. Whatever it is, it’s commendable work. Nobody would want to call customer service and speak with me. First of all, they wouldn’t be able to hear me over the sound of my eyes rolling. Second of all, they would have to be put 
on hold while I got fired.

"Yes sir, A squared plus B squared equals C squared"
No, when you call customer service you want to get a pro.  You want to get someone who works for a place like the Global Response Call Center. Large companies like Lord & Taylor, Blue Cross Blue Shield, and Toyota outsource their customer service to Global Response who spend a lot of time training their employees on the specific brands. As a result, the employees are highly knowledgeable, helpful, and (aahh!) pleasant to speak with! These are people who actually want to talk on the phone. 

I don’t know how they do it day in and day out, but we should all be glad that they do. And if I ever meet one of these people, maybe they can help me with my Algebra.